These Guys Were Vikings?

Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg with me in Oslo on Tuesday.

I'm in Europe this week and am hating every minute of it! Unless you are a connoisseur of exotic smells, this place will make you ill! I'm a pro though and I smile through it all, ancient open sewers and all!

I thought it would be interesting here in Oslo Norway, after all these guys are the descendants of Vikings! I like Vikings, they are unpretentious he-men who take no crap off of anyone! - Boy, was I disappointed.
The first of these watered-down Vikings I met when I got off the G5 was either an ugly woman or an effeminate man (I haven't figured out what this "guide" is yet) my protocol advisers say, "don't ask sir!"
I haven't met anyone with horns on their heads yet and everywhere I look there is porn featuring obese women, pale men and whatevers like my guide!
They took me to some weird looking "Centrico Centre" to make a speech, but the translator screwed up my "flow" and was spraying when he spoke (they all do). The audience liked my speech though, I promised them something or another and they went crazy! Their Prime Minister Stolenberg came on stage and kissed me! Twice! I don't play that! .... I can't wait to get to the hotel!

I ordered my BWBG7 (Black Water Bodyguard), "If another one of these confused, watered-down, hornless Vikings tries to kiss me, you tackle them!"

... The trip continues! Boiled Mutton for diner!
Oh the things I do for my Microsoft!

OPINION! OPINION! JUST A FAKE BLOGGER's OPINION!

In the last week I have lost $5,257,0126,784.62!
... Yet do I look worried to you people? Not really, it's just money! (I can't believe that I'm saying this).
I always get worried when politicians who are experts at backstabbing, womanizing, bribe-taking, influence-peddling and tax code manipluation start acting like they know something about real-world ecconomics! They don't, they are leeches on the system not experts!
These people actually caused the problems with the mortgage and credit markets by their aptempts at social engineering about 10 years ago, by dictaiting to FannieMae and FreddyMac that they were to give loans to the poor to buy "mansions"! These things just piled up higher and higher and higher, then the whole thing was pushed over the edge by constantly rising gas prices!
These political sharks now tell us that "corrupt CEO's" were at fault!
Yeah, we CEO's love losing money and giving bad loans!
THINK PEOPLE!

I don't have the answer but thank goodness I keep a few billion in the basement, don't you?

Bill Was Just Kidding People!

Sheesh!

Zune Outtage Notice.

The Zune service will be down for scheduled maintenance on Monday, September 29, 2008 from 12:01am Pacific Time, for up to 48 hours. During the downtime, Zune Social, the forums on Zune.net, and all of Zune Marketplace will be offline.

We apologize for any inconvenience this might cause you.

Please check back soon. We look forward to sharing our picks, plays, and recommendations with you in the Zune Social and in Zune Marketplace shortly!

Sincerely,

Your Friends at Zune and FSB

Cool Hand Luke dies!

Paul Newman has died at 83.

What can I say? He was another hero of mine, he was Cool Hand Luke.
I really liked this guy, I don't have much to say because this just bums me out.
Here's his obituary and a few clips:





Paul, people call me "the Man", but you were "the man!"

Churchill Club - The Rant!

I love it when we go to the Churchill Club and dress up like Winston, but at the end of the evening came the part where I have to do a little work, I must "answer questions!"
I told them what I thought about the economy, Yahoo, Google, Hyper-V ....
When the topic of the market came up I said,
"people still see a certain buoyancy in the market."
I decided to wrap up by doing a little Churchill on them, I did my limey accent and declared:
"We shall fight the forces of despair! We shall control the clouds! We shall search and search and search!
In this day of mounting darkness, in the face of Apples and Penguins, I say to you all,
Never give up! Never give up! Never give up!"

The applause was tremendous!
Half the audience worked for me.

Zunney!

Apple is a CULT People!

If you care about your children, keep them away from these things!


I am not evil

Vista Got Me Busy, Boyz in da Hizzy! Uh, Ye-ah!

The PR guys suggested that I update my image in order to "touch" the urban kids that came to the Microsoft Campus for Minority Student Day in Redmond. So I went down to the local studio props room and they "hooked me up", yeah, uh, yeah baby, man yeah I was a stone cold thug straight off the streets of upper Vernon Woodington Hills! I got used to my new rags in no time and next thing I knew I was on stage in front of 500 minority kids at MS East Lecture Hall.
I busted some free-style rhymes:

"Uh yeah, Vista b the Mack of this Hizzy! B-Slappin down, down, down, down to the ground all the odda' posers and dozers! Rollin' phat, got a Zune-tatt, Windows all dat, ratta ratta tatt! Yeah uh, uh, huh. Lay'n down the heavy hand on Yahoo, might just have'ta borrhu, I the man, doin' all I can, punk'n out da nerds, do you understand, got a kick'n plan! uh yeah uh yeah, uh, huh.
Apple, Sun, dey all done! Cisco, Google, chill out Duggle. Take'n out the net, walk'n it like a pet, you know me? All a ya'll kin see!
Uh yeah, yeah uh ...."

Then all of a sudden!

My alarm clock went off! I rolled over and saw Wellington standing there with my clothing for the morning.
He said, "Mista Ballmer sir, you were sleep rappin' again".
I asked, "how was I?" He raised an eybrow and replied, "You are definitely getting better, uh, homey!"
We laughed, I do that with the help sometimes.

This Was Funny!

Blast at the Churchill Club!

It's good to be rich!
I'm the special speaker and guest of honor at the Churchill Club! The cream de la cream of Silicon valley will be there, $24000/ticket (keeps out riff-raff). We all dress up like Winston Churchill, smoke stoggies, drink old bourbon (I do iced tea), stare at the server winches and talk about how annoying the lazy poor are! We have one good time!

Opps, they are calling me now, tell you guys more later ....

Castro Endorses Vista!

"Hola' mis amigos, El Comandante en Jefe, Fidel Castro dice que él ama panorama y que pedirá la nación entera para utilizarla!!"

Many people didn't pick it up when Fidel endorsed Vista because during the same rambling speech he also endorsed Hillary Clinton. The Clinton stuff is all over the news, but the Vista endorsement was the real news to me.
I have noticed in the past that Communist states have more of an affinity for Microsoft products, I can't say exactly why but it is true. I have been to Vietnam, North Korea, China ... I guess I need to make plans for a trip to see El Comandante before he kicks off.

Oh yeah, the NK's are nothing like the media here presents them, they really crack me up, I mean, a whole country of armed Elvis impersonators! ... and boy, can they party.

John Edwards Comes-a-Calling!

When they told me Pretty Johnny was in my lobby I canceled a previous appointment so I could talk to him.
When he came in he was all smiles, I just sat and emotionlessly stared at him. When he extended his hand to shake mine, I left him hang'n. He dropped his head in shame and said,
"You too!"
I leaned back in my chair and took a sip of my honey-water, Pretty Johnny started begging:
"Mr. Ballmer, I thought that maybe you would give me a job sir! I know that right now I am like the plague! I'm the guy who was cheating on his terminally ill wife and denying his own love-child! I made fools out of millions of people who believed in me and I am now universally reviled as a low-life scum-sucking maggot with no morals, a loathsome hypocrite with no redeeming virtues, a double-crossing shallow husk of a man not fit to share the air with regular people!"
I raised an eyebrow and sucked my teeth, he was shaken. he dropped to his knees and continued to beg:
"Sir, I'm at the end of my rope! People won't vote for me as a politician or hire me as a lawyer! They see me coming and cross the road or cover their children's eyes! Have mercy sir! I'll do anything! I'll work for less than $250 an hour! Have mercy sir!"
I was softening, I asked, "Who sent you to me?"
He said, "Hillary, sir!"

I screamed, "GUARDS!"
They responded in 1.5 seconds (a little slow)
I commanded, "get this person off of our property! ..and don't be gentle about it!"

I could hear his screams, crying and begging through my plate glass wall all the way from the parking lot!
To think! He almost had me for a minute there!


I am not evil

G-Phone! - Nice Try!

I'm all conflicted here, on one hand I hate Apple and on the other hand I loathe Gaggle, yet they both have a phone now and mine is still in development. What is the most powerful CEO on earth to do?
Just let me say that neither this ugly urine colored thing or the iPhone can compete with even the alpha version ZunePhone I carry around everyday! My mother always said, "Sonny, good things comes to he that baits!"
So forget about this stuff, ZunePhone is on the way people!

Sun Reaching Step 10!

Earlier this year it was Novell, now it's Sun Micro Systems!
I wondered how long these guys could hold out against us, in the end no one can really.
Jonathan Schawrtz, Sun's illustrious, forward thinking, eager-beaver, level-headed, pragmatic, pony-tailed leader has seen the future, a Microsoft future! The guy is smarter than I thought, he wants to get out in a few years with some cash in pocket. You see all of the big exec's know how this works (It's called the 16 steps plan:

1. Resist Microsoft (gain a rep)
2. Become almost cultishly blind to the realities surrounding you.
3. Release some cool products (declare them to be cool anyways)
4. Lose money hand over fist every quarter for a few years.
5. Blame Microsoft
6. Hint at softening your stance (but deny it in public)
7. Sneak into Redmond, beg me for help, bow before me
8. Wait 6 months for a reply
9. Announce a "strategic alliance" new era of cooperation and understanding
10. Open some of your source code to us
11. We release favorable press releases about you (your stock goes up)
12. Once we have "absorbed" what we wanted and made simmilar apps which don't work quite as well, we announce an end of the alliance and blame you!
13. Your stock plummets to record lows
14. We offer to Buy your company cheap ... but CEO gets sweetheart deal.
15. Buy, downsize, dismantle, assimilate remainder
16. Deny your company ever existed.

Schawrtz is now entering step 9. I'm sooo excited!

I am a PC and I Love This Company!

I made this one especially for you guys reading this blog:

The Best Microsoft Commercial Ever!

To me this was the best Microsoft comercial ever! This is what we need to get back to:

This one is a close second place:

SCANDAL! -‘I’m a PC’ Ads Created On Macs

The Traitors at Roughly Drafted are reporting that there is significant evidence that "Microsoft’s ‘I’m a PC’ Ads Created On Macs"!
I looked into this one personally and discovered that it was true! I am soooo angry right now that I could spit on these people we hired at Crispin+Bogusky! How dare they sabotage us like this! First Seinfeld then our ad agency? When will this madness stop people? When will I find someone I can trust?

If all of the chairs in my office weren't bolted down, I would throw one right now!

Seinfeld, - The Let-Down!

I told the crowd at our employees meeting the truth! You people who are smart enough to read this blog will know it too!
Jerry Seinfeld just isn't a big draw anymore! He promised that he and his little "Ad Agency" would deliver the goods! I didn't think those first two ads made any sense either people, but I was bewitched by this guy! The ads bothered and bewildered most viewers, I decided that two was enough, and enough is enough!
Other than that the meeting went well.
I did my "usual" pep talk to the troops, a little dancing, a little screaming, a little burning SAteve Jobs in effigy. .... we had one gooood time baby! (no cameras or Seinfelds were allowed).

ps:
Jerry, it's over! Don't use the login to post here anymore, make your own PFPB (Personal Fake Persona Blog), you are not welcome here! You have a bad attitude and we don't roll like 'dat at Microsoft!

Palin E-mail to me Exposed! - Sorry Sarah!

The hacker who broke into and published Sarah Palin's Yahoo account included this in their public disclosure:

gov.sarah@yahoo.com
Fri, 8/29/08 3KB
yahoo-account-services-us@cc.yahoo-inc.com
Steve, ever since I saw you at the Network Alaska User Forum Convention last year, you have consumed my thoughts, dreams, passions! I have been fighting this feeling as hard as I can but can't shake it! Darn it! I just want to be stranded on the frozen tundra in an igloo with you! Please respond, I just have to know if I have any chance at all with a big, powerful, bald, passionate man like you. Just let me know something, at least I will know if I'm obsessing in vain.
Don't worry about that hick I'm married to, he's out moose or elk hunting most of the time.
I'm desperate Steve! Just let me know!

To tell you the truth, I never saw this e-mail, it got automatically routed to my "stalker" folder. But now the world has seen it!

How would I have answered?
Well I would have told her that I ..... opps, Bill's calling on the ZunePhone, gotta' go.

"I'm a PC!"

I'm a PC and Proud of it!

I'm a PC and I'm not alone!

I'm a PC: Sterotype,


:-)

Gates/Seinfeld Ads NOT "Canceled"!

People, the Gates/Seinfeld ads have not been canceled, they have been stopped. Huge difference! Chris Flores, head of MS marketing or something explains on the Vista Blog:

" So there seems to be the rumor running around that we’re supposedly cancelling our Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld ads tomorrow. I wouldn’t count on anything being “cancelled”. It was always the plan to have Jerry Seinfeld in the first phase of the campaign and not a part of every ad. Instead, our Windows Consumer Campaign is moving into the next phase and we did mention previously that you should expect the campaign to evolve. I’ll direct you to a post by Stuart Elliott of The New York Times to shed some light on what’s next for our ad campaign.
More to come - stay tuned!"

While it is true that we shot ten commercials, we always planned to cut it off at two! We have a long list of celebrities chomping at the bit to work with me and Bill! Eva Longoria is next, after her the Dice-man Clay, then Mel Brooks, .... the list goes on and on .....

Balm - Ruling Virb! (Naturally)

My band, Balm, has been on Virb for about seven months and we are really going over big there! We are not signed with any record labels because of our positions at Microsoft, so I am thinking of starting my own! What do you think of , Vista Records, or Balm Records, or even MS Recording Co.?
Right now though and in the foreseeable future everything is still free and down loadable! The instrumentals are on just 20% of all Zunes now! Let's admit it, music sounds better on a Zune than an iPad!

This is just a note to thank all of Balm's fans so far and to encourage the rest of you to check it out! Don't let the fact that a few of you don't like me stop you, because you will love the music!

...ps:
Elton, yes you can perform "Without You" and "Trust in Him" anytime and anywhere you wish, all I insist on is attribution! The same goes for you Isleys and "So Far Away From Home".

Microsoft and Cray = VistaSuperPuter!

The entire internet is abuzz (I always wanted to use that term) with news of the latest, greatest, most affordable Cray SuperComputer! It's a Windows PC!


SEATTLE, WA and REDMOND, WA, Sep 16, 2008 (MARKET WIRE via COMTEX News Network) -- Supercomputer leader Cray Inc. (NASDAQ: CRAY) and Microsoft Corporation (NASDAQ: MSFT) today introduced the new Cray CX1 supercomputer pre-installed with Windows HPC Server 2008. With U.S. list prices starting at $25,000 to over $60,000, "ease-of-everything" features and the ability to fit into standard office environments and workflows, the new product reflects Microsoft and Cray's shared goal to drive high productivity computing farther into the mainstream in a broad array of markets including financial services, aerospace, automotive, petroleum, life sciences, government, academic and digital media.

One analyst who we let test one said in his review:
"With 64 processors, 4TB of storage and 432 gig of memory, -This thing runs Vista at a pretty decent clip!"

ChrisP, NTN (Nasal toned Nerd) Heritic!

I was slumming in the Microsoft basement where we keep the NtN's (Nasal-toned Nerds). One of them very uncharacteristically approached me and spoke,
"Sir Mista Ballmer sir, have you seen what Chris Pirillo has been saying about Vista on his blog, Mista Ballmer sir?"
The NtN was waving his hands, shivering, sweaty, ... I keenly perceived that whoever this Chris guy was, he must be pretty important to NtN's. I of course would never admit to one of these basementers that I had no idea who or what he was talking about, so I just barked, "Bring this guy up on the BIG SCREEN!"
I then calmly walked over to the balcony to see what had the NtN's so upset on the "BIG SCREEN" (the world's largest 1440" x900" plasma display).
NtN: "Sir, Mista Ballmer sir, Behold ChrisP!"They started showing some uber-nerb's podcast, he was panting, scratching, crying, flailing, hyperventilating as he wailed and railed about supposed deficiencies in Vista.
ChrisP: "... Windows Vista has let me down, you down, it just does not work, I went back to XP, Lord have mercy! Lord have mercy! ..."I raised my hand, the video feed stopped. I whispered to the nerd, "... and why is this clown important?"
The NtN looked at me in astonishment and shakily replied,
"He is ChrisP, the cyber-nerd, there is none greater sir. That is other than yourself and Mista Gates, sir, Mista Ballmer sir."
The NtN's glasses had fogged up, he was crying, I said jestingly, "That question was only a test of your knowledge boy!"
I laughed, he snorted, all of the NtN's started snorting!

I then raised both of my hands, all of the NtN's froze in breathless anticipation of what I would proclaim, and proclaim I did:

"Be it known this day that the once great cyber-nerd, Chris Pirillo, has become a heretic! BUT! Fear not! I shall personally contact him and bring him back into the light of Vista! Until such time all of his feeds, blogs, podcast, ... are hereby banned from these premises! So let it be written, so let it be done!"

All of the NtN's were relieved as they scurried about to erase every reference to this Chris person that they could find!
They applauded as I went back to the elevator.
I just hope I remember whatever it was that I told them I was going to do tomorrow, whatever.

Windows Seven Beta Coming This Year!

We have had an internal Beta of YOUR next operating system Windows Seven circulating around Redmond for a while. The build which we refer to as M3 (Milestone 3) looks a lot like Vista, acts like Vista, runs like, is based on Vista, BUT it is not Vista! It's different, it's better, it's newer!
I may let the NTN's at PDC see it this month, but we will definitely release a limited-restricted-feature incomplete beta of this revolutionary OS at WinHec in November.


Serving you!
S.A. Ballmerfeld


btw: Jerry is just kidding, you know ol' Jerry!

The Death of a Comic! - Seinfeld

After my last post here, Steve called and ordered me never to use my "back door" into his secret blog thingy here again. But, what cha gonna' do Stevo? You have to remain semi-anonymous! If I let your hounds down in HR in on the facts of what you actually have going on here, I don't think your Board of Directors would take it too well!
You told me that on a fake blog I could be completely honest and nothing is off limits. So, let me just say this:
"I HATE YOU!
Why you may ask?
Well I still have eight more 'commercials" left to suffer through with you utterly unimaginative people!
You have ruined whatever the heck I had left of a career! I get no respect from anybody any more!
My kid came home from school with bruises all over from a fight, when I asked 'What happened sonny-bo?'
He hung his head and said that the other kids were teasing him because his father worked for the "Monkey-boy!"

Children can be soooo cruel! (..and so right)

What really hurt was the fact that I had no come-back for my sonny-bo! I couldn't deny making this stuff you people have put all over television!


Oh my God! Number three will be out next week!!

Touching the iPod Touch'd!

The Zune beats these things a hundred times over! C'mon people!

New Family! - Commercial #2, Enjoy!

Furniputers Sooner Than Later!

We are getting ready to take the next big step in the evolution of computers!
We here at Microsoft have realized for years that computers should be imbeded in homes, but how? Our solution, to make computers furinture or furniture computers. WOW! you say.
Our amazing demo at D: was just the beginning! We will eventually build software into everything: beds, dressers, bars, chairs, urinals, toasters, welcome mats, .... the possibilities are endless. Forget that crapware by Apple, Lie-nux, Son, ... we are the real deal, take my word for it, trust me, you are best off sticking with us. So don't screw up by switching.

That Zucker Crawls Back to Apple!

This Zucker lead NBC away from Apple and that travesty called the iTunes store in what he called "a blow for media liberty!" Well that didn't last too long, he's come crawling back to Apple and has accepted a deal which is a little worse than the one he originally left over!
Am I the only real man left out here?
I gave Zucker full and free access to the ZuneMedia Store and 5% of all Zune sales, yet still he thinks he needs iTombs?

Zucker, you are one huge dissapointment to me and all who believe in stricter DRM and intellectual property protection!
You disgust me!

Jobs Still Alive! (Or So He claims)

The new line of upcoming Zunes: ZunePhone, ZuneTouch, ZuneCam, ZuneHalographic and the ZuneSphere will utterly decimate these toys and send Jobs and his people back where they belong; under my heel!

The Zune is Your Ticket!

As many of you already know, on October 19, Balm will open up for "the Boss" at the House of Blues in Chicago! (7:30 PM)
Reaction has been quite enthusiastic to say the least. However the House of Blues is a rather small venue and I want my special friends in the area to be there. So here is the deal: I have reserved 50 free tickets for Zunist! That's right!
All you have to do is to show up with your Zune, show it to the bouncers and say, "I'm a friend of Steve's!" They will usher you to several mid-section tables, all expenses paid (peanuts, chips, sodas, fajitas ... all pre-paid). Be sure to show early on the day of the show, because when the 50 are gone that's it!
Bruce said, "please open up with So Far Away From Home!"

We are gonna' rock the house baby!

The Slow Death of Yahoo!

I am not one to linger long over what coulda', woulda' shoulda' been, but the Yahoo thing is simply sad!
Yahoo's stock is under $18 per share and the company is valued at just 13 billion. They are losing share, talent is leaving, the board of directors is a Payton Place of deceit, backbiting, treachery, lies and cheating! If they had accepted my generous offer none of this would be.
I think I'll wait for the stock to reach $9! I'll offer $13 and rescue the company or what's left of it. I'll assimilate whatever talent and equipment is left and turn the offices into condos!

People really pay a heavy price when they choose to ignore me!



I am not evil.

The Future, Delicious! The Commercial About Nothing! - Seinfeld

Bill loved this commercial, Steve almost fainted, all of the geeks at Microsoft railed and cheered! So we launched!
When I got home though, my wife met me at the door, she looked confused,
"What was THAT I just saw on TV just now?"
I calmly walked past her and flopped in my "Bunker-chair", I sighed deeply and said,
"That my dear is what a washed-up observational comedian will give fools for ten million dollars! ... And they love you for it!"
Then she started her usual fussing with me:
"Honey! I thought you wanted to make a serious come back? For God's sake, you are working for Microsoft!"
She started weeping uncontrollably, I hugged her and said,
"I know, I know, but they offered me Ten Million! Honey, we were down to our last three! I just can't live like that! I had to do it, I just had to!"
We both cried, ... after a few minutes, she looked at me and said,
"I saw it, but what was it about?"
I looked at her, cleared my throat and answered, "Nothing."
She pulled herself together and said, "Oh, that again!"
I held her tightly again to brace her for my next statement,
"Honey, I have to do nine more! Gates writes them and Ballmer directs them!"
She fainted.

Oh what I'll do for a few million dollars.
Can you be forgiven for selling your soul?

Looking Cloudy!

Most of you have certainly heard or read about the world-changing speech I gave at the MS Partner Conference! I said:
"We are in the process today of building out a services platform in the cloud,"
Yes, we have seen a future, a bright future where you no longer have to buy software, you rent it. You won't have to worry about illegal software, media, music etc... being on your PC, we will remove it for you. You won't have to worry about backing-up your personal documents, we will keep them for you in our cloud! Why bother with these things when we can do it all for you? The future is coming, and the key word we see for it is "conformity", Software as a service, constant monitorting, security assured. We will talk more in the next few months, I know you are all as exicited about this new direction as I am.

Watch my speech here: https://partner.microsoft.com/40044112

Batman vs Alien vs Predator! The Movie!

I just liked this:Bravo guys!

Even I Laughed at This One!

Untrue but thoughtful.

Google Chrome: Problem #385

I had my people download and test this Google Chrome thing, I gave them only two hours to issue a report! (time limits make people more efficient). They brought me the report in just a hour and a half, it was eye opening. It listed 500 serious "technical dificencies", bugs, incompatibilities, holes, ... in this thing!
One of the worst things it did was verticle distortion of any website which mentioned Windows Vista in the header!

Soooo, the Gaggle kids think they are being funny?
They shall soon find out what "funny" is!

I am not evil.

Get A Windows Home Server People!

These ads are about the slickest we have ever put out! Check out StayAtHomeServers.com

There are four videos on StayAtHomeServers.com so far, more on the way!


*Use of Windows Home Server's remote access features may require additional services from your broadband provider, such as access to certain "ports" that some providers may block for customers on some service plans. Contact your broadband provider if you have questions about their services or service terms.

Google "Chrome"?

The children are at it again! They think they can compete with our web browser! This one is good for a few laughs (before you fall asleep), enjoy and goodnight:


I can't wait to see what Jerry will have to say about this one! LOL
"Chrome", gimme' a break!

I've NEVER Felt This Way About a Politician!

As most of you know I am a Vistacrat! My philosophy has been to simply pay off both parties to stay as far away from us as possible. Hellary changed all of that though and I dedicated my full resources to resisting that sore and grievous evil! I succeeded! I thought, "back to normal", then the old guy picked Sarah, Sarah, oh Sarah.
I'm used to female politicians looking like Bella Abzugh, Pelosi, ...
I don't know how I feel about having a woman who looks like this as VP, Sarah, Sarah, oh Sarah.
If anyone understands being hated for being beautiful and intelligent, it's me.

I'm gonna' have to think this out some more, but I just can't stop staring at Sarah, Sarah, oh Sarah.
... and I find myself humming that Hall and Oats song, Sarah Smile, all day long.

I have to shake this off! Is it a spell?



Hey, if you didn't want the truth, you shouldn't be reading this blog.

Leaving Apple For Vista! - Seinfeld

Something is afoot! (Why do they say afoot not afeet?)
Anyways, I was just researching, brows'n, live-search'n, when I came across PixoBebo.com. It's a blog by a former die-hard Macist who has seen the light! Kate MacKenzie, she shares her reasons for recently switching from Mac OSX to Vista! She has a lot of commenters who are also doing the same! A few examples:

"It took me a long time to make the decision to switch from Mac to Windows. The decision to switch was not easy for me. I’ve used Macs for about 15 years. I loathe Microsoft, Steve Ballmer, and Bill Gates. I scoffed at Windows users feeble attempts to justify their platform of choice. I convinced many friends, family members, and co-workers to switch to the Mac. So, why am I switching?" - Kate

"It’s also about hardware choices as well. aapl is so focused on the iPhone/iPod business that the mac division has been neglected. The hardware cpu choices is pathetic." - Sinclap

"I understand your frustration." - Fred

"I am about to switch to Windows Vista SP1 because I feel like Apple is becoming a corner cutting “to big for their own britches” company." - John

"Thank God for Microsoft! Thank him for Steve Ballmer! ..." - Rev. Brown

These comments just go on and on and on and on yadda yadda yadda!
Read it for you-self! - Goodbye Mac, Hello Windows Vista

People are beginning to see Windows not walls! Cu'mon people!

Zune4 Coming This Christmas!

While everybody else is working off rumors, all of you who are intelligent enough to read this blog are getting the straight dope right from the horse's mouth! Behold, The Zune4! This thing changes everything!

Specifications:
Weight: 3.5 ounces (88 grams)
Single core peryn processor
32 - 64 Gig Flash Drive
3.9-inch color display
Range: Up to 350 feet
JPEG, TIF, WMV, BMP, PNG, FLV
AM/FM/CB
Headphone jack / AV output
RGB / VGA / ZuneVid / HD
Bluetooth
Wifi
Music, up to 64 hours (wireless off); video, up to 9 hours
IE 8 Mobile Built in
25% larger screen
Runs VistaMobile

As you can see, the iPod and iPod Touch are dead!
I told you we were worth waiting for!