I had my driver pull over so I could take a picture of this billboard this morning!
My parishioners wanted me to be surprised when I saw it, and I guarantee I was! It was sooo beautiful! Of course when I got to Vista Temple, the parking lot was already overflowing (and I was an hour early). The service was hot as a Packard Bell power supply! The choir sang "Code Me Up!" Sistah Bill-Girl testified about being DELIVERED from the clutches of The Beloved Leader Kim Jong Ill. The members all uploaded a tithe of their coding for the month.
Yes sir brutha!
When I mounted the pulpit (literally) I let them have the Word of Bing!
I walked the aisles! The amen’s shook the rafters!
Twenty-nine XP Backsliders came back to Vista!
Four Mac Users were converted!
One Linux-guy fell out under the powa'!
Come on down to Redmond and fellowship with us! ALL ARE WELCOME!
4 comments:
I will take advantage from the fact that no one has (yet) commented. And I will post a much longer comment, as usual. And I will split it in two parts.
Part one:
I will start with a quote:
"Looking for answers? Are you confused? Don't know where to go? Vista Chapel Church of Windows can help! (...) We liberate [you] from the evils of Linux and Mac. (...)"
OK. But what is Mac OS?
Looking on its genealogical tree I found out that it is derived from Free BSD 3.0 to 3.2 and from Mac OS X Server - which, in its turn, is derived from NEXTSTEP/OPENSTEP 1.0 to 4.0. (I might be wrong, of course. But who really cares?!)
You can see here how powerful became Mister S.J., after he bited the Apple:
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.engadget.com/media/2008/06/jobs_beater_zune.jpg
His right arm contains a tattoo: the first Zune HD player he destroyed.
Apple Computer claims, about Mac OS X - in its latest feline incarnation -, that it is "The World's most advanced operating system".
Well, this reminds me of a suggestive painting belonging to Vincent McIndoe, painting titled "Man Walking Over Precipice". You can admire it here:
http://www.veer.com/products/detail.aspx?image=SSI0013262
Mac OS X, too, is "advanced". In fact, it is "The most advanced" OS in the Galaxy! After all, isn't it derived from... Next Step/Open Step?
(Have you noticed the other four men, behind the Apple man? They represent the rest of the main Operating Systems! They must also cross the Precipice. Will they be able to do it? Will, Someone, overlie a Bridge over the Abyss, for them?)
The BSDs (and OS X) represent a way to port Unix to PCs.
Linux represent a way to write Unix for PCs.
And now, a few words about Windows.
Windows - but, pay attention!, Windows Server -, worths the name of Operating System (at least now, while it is still "operating"). Server = serious business.
The employees from Microsoft know their metier. Unfortunately, they suffer from a lack of Vision.
An ideal OS is something recorded in a ROM memory.
It takes only a few seconds to become fully operational.
It never needs the Botch called "Updates".
It is not affected by Malware species (you can not write something in a ROM memory).
It never needs to be re-installed.
And Bing!, it can not be counterfeited. You buy it with your PC, included on its Mainboard.-
I do not want to upset (too much) Mister Anthony Ballmer, by claiming that "Microsoft is using Open-Source Code Despite Denying Use of Such Software". If it is using it legally, then there's no problem.
A. B. has enough troubles in Europe. The European Union asked Microsoft to deliver Windows 7 without the browser (IE8). But how can you download another browser...
without a browser?!?!
Part 2:
What is Vista Chapel (or, more exactly, Wista Chapel)? I will answer you under the form of an anecdote.
A noble British family was spending its summer holiday in Switzerland. During one of the numerous walk outs, they noticed a very nice villa situated in a gorgeous corner of nature. That villa seemed very suited to them, for their next holiday. So they talked to the owner of the villa and asked him to lease it. The owner (a Protestant Pastor) agreed.
Once returned to England, the Lady realizes that she has not seen the WC. Knowing how preoccupied are the women in what concerns such matters, she decides to write to the Pastor, asking him to offer her more informations about that delicate subject.
I will quote from her letter:
"Dear Pastor,
I am the Lady who, last week, has advanced you money for renting your villa.
Because we were rushing, we forgot to see the WC. Please be so kind and inform us about this subject.
Yours, ..."
Thinking that the Lady is a member of the Anglican Church, who had, near his villa, a chapel named Wista Chapel, he answered her like this:
"Dear Madam,
I just have received your letter. And I have the pleasure to specify you that the place that interests you is located at almost six miles from my villa.
In that place, usually, it gathers a lot of people. You can reach there by foot, riding a horse, or with a bike.
Due to the fact that in the Chapel there is space only for sixty persons, sitting afoot, it is preferable to go there only scheduled.
Those who want to stay longer, should bring with them something to eat (a sandwich with a hotdog, for example).
The chairs are upholsted with brown velvet.
The children stay next to their parents. And they all sing in choir.
When they enter, they receive a sheet of paper - which must be given back after it has been used, when they leave the chapel. If possible, the paper must be unrumpled and unsplotched. Because it must also be used in the following days, for minimum one month.
The chapel is endowed with a powerful audio amplifier. This allows that everything which is heard inside, to be heard outside too.
I must also add that all which is amassed here is donated to the poor people.
Yours, ..."
So, if you want to be "liberated from the evils of Linux and Mac OS", go to Wista Chapel. And "liberate" yourself.
Toodeloo!
Thanks for that explanation
I thank you for not deleting my grotesque comment. A day in which you have not laughed, at least once, it is a lost day...
Mister Steve B., Sir: I have to confess that you are a very competent "business manager". You know how to Win(intel) money. Unfortunately, you are surrounded by ingrates; and saboteurs.
The ingrate
"The Wall Street Journal" has reported that there was some tension (high voltage!) at the transition of authority from Bill Gates to you. Things became so bitter that, on one occasion, Gates stormed out of a meeting in a huff after a shouting match in which you jumped to the defense of several colleagues, according to an individual present at the time. After the exchange, you seemed "remorseful," the person said.
Once Gates leaves, "I'm not going to need him for anything. That's the principle", you said. "Use him, yes, need him, no."-
The saboteur
Well, the saboteurs are not the programmers. By the way, have you heard the expression "Microsoft Widow"? (Widow, not Window!) The MS widows are the wives of your top programmers...
The set of saboteurs consists (mainly) in the plethora of dilettantes forumists/bloggers who are assaulting the Internet. They are denigrateing something which they do not know thoroughly.
Me, too, I am, more or less, such a guy! But I am also a guy who knows what he wants. And who knows some superior maths. And Boolean algebra. And several programing languages. And how a 16-bit to 32-bit high-speed CMOS TTL- compatible multiplexer/demultiplexer works. But I'm still considering myself an amateur.-
Unfortunately, you are also surrounded by "indiscrete persons". Your chauffeur, for example. Guess what he told to my spy, about you.
He claims that, after you have read my comments, you asked him to bring you to a pharmacy. Because you felt a sudden headache. Once entered, you ordered a couple of aspirins (Bayer!).
Then, the shopgirl asked you, very politely, if you want the aspirins packed in a paper bag, or in a plastic bag.
And you replied: why should you pack them?! I will ROLL them, on the street, till I will reach my home!
Is it true? You really said so?
You know how my little spy made you driver to talk? He offered him a PC with Amiga OS installed on it!
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